When I was a child and had been through some substantial suffering, I thought God owed me something.  This was reinforced every Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), when I would fast and my mother’s friend would say, “You don’t have to fast, you’ve suffered enough.”

In other words, I found a way to compromise in obedience to what was my conception of Torah, since I thought God was my debtor.

Years later, after having been a believer in Messiah for about fifteen years, I evidently had still been carrying this spiritual chip on my shoulder!  Clearly a root of bitterness had been growing even during the time I was reading the Scriptures, praying, and telling others about His love.

I was very upset one day and I admitted to a friend that I had a root of bitterness.  She said, “No you don’t, you have an OAK TREE of bitterness.”

I had no response; she was right.

So how could I uproot this oak tree of bitterness from my heart?

I searched the Scripture and came to Job chapter 41.  Job, as most know, suffered immeasurable pain.  He had lost his health, his children, his wealth, his friends and his position of esteem.

In this chapter, the Lord was revealing His greatness to Job, while dealing with his attitudes.  He describes Leviathan, the great sea creature, to get his point across.  I was actually rebuked by what I read. Please take a moment to read from the text:

“Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook?
Or press down his tongue with a cord?
“Can you put a rope in his nose
Or pierce his jaw with a hook?…

“Lay your hand on him;
Remember the battle; you will not do it again!…

“No one is so fierce that he dares to arouse him;
Who then is he that can stand before Me?” (Job 41:1-2,8,10)

In a moment I knew that my sin of bitterness was a Leviathan in my life.

Even as Leviathan could not be pulled in with a simple fish hook, this sin of bitterness could not be removed by human means.

But, God gave me a “two for one”… The very next verse is:

“Who has given to Me that I should repay him?
Whatever is under the whole heaven is Mine.” (Job 41:11)

The Lord, in His rebuke to Job, stated emphatically:  “I AM NOT YOUR DEBTOR!”

This verse is so important that the Apostle Paul quotes it in Romans chapter 11:35!

The context of this passage (verses 11-27) has to do with the cycle of mercy:  That Jewish unbelief about the Messiahship of Yeshua opened the way for the Gentiles to receive mercy.  Now Gentiles have opportunity to come into the Kingdom of God.  Paul then exhorts the Gentiles to show mercy to the Jewish people, who have experienced a partial hardening until the full number of Gentiles come in (to the Kingdom).

Ultimately, the Holy One of Israel will again deal with the Jewish people as a nation in bringing them to Messiah.  He has always preserved a remnant of Jewish people who believed in Messiah Yeshua through the centuries, as promised in Romans 11:5 and Romans 9:27.

Paul continues to exalt the LORD’s greatness in verses 32 through 35:

“For God has shut up all in disobedience so that He may show mercy to all.”

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!

For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? (Paul quotes Isaiah 40)

Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN?” (Paul refers to Job 41!)

Believer or nonbeliever, Jew or Gentile — The LORD, the Master of the Universe, owes us nothing.

Everything we are, everything we have or ever hope to be, is from His gracious hand.

So, if you are blocking your own blessing, as I had, through bitterness and thinking God is your debtor, please consider these clear truths of Scripture.  Whatever your “Leviathan” is, you can’t lasso it in.

Whatever expectation you have of God because of your suffering, or your good works, God owes you nothing.

But, God is full of grace and mercy.  Agree with Him that you are a debtor to Him (and not the other way around). In fact, you do owe Him — because if you have been living for yourself, you have been sinning against the One who made you for His glory and purposes, not your own.

Then find His heart of mercy and love by calling on the Name of Yeshua (Jesus), our intermediary.

“For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Messiah Yeshua.” (1 Tim. 2:5)

(To my fellow Jewish readers who may think we have a ‘direct dial’ to the LORD: Moses served as an intermediary, and interceded for the people of Israel when the Holy One of Israel wanted to destroy them for their sin.)

For a more detailed understanding of how to come into a relationship with the Living God, who loves you, please consult these previous posts:  “How A Chinese Waiter Found True Fortune“, “He Has Set Eternity In Your Heart” and “No Passover Seder, But The Passover Lamb“.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)